


Something Changed

by slingham



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-12 06:00:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3346175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slingham/pseuds/slingham
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after "Decaying Mortality." My take on what happened after Olivia and Amanda met for coffee following Rollin's yoga retreat in Costa Rica. [Rolivia]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When the love comes out

Hello and thank you so much for reading my story! This is my first fic for this pairing, but oh my do I love these two. Reviews are encouraged as they help my motivation and inspiration, and who knows…maybe there will be more to come. Thanks again, I hope you enjoy reading!

xx—xx

Soft, feminine lips were hungrily dancing with her own before Olivia’s mind could even get into gear and process just what the hell was going on. Naturally, her hands went straight for those golden blonde tresses, and her stomach did a three sixty as the strands separated into the small spaces between her fingers. She pulled the other woman closer, as her mind spun out of control. She hadn’t felt this way for another woman in quite a few years, and when the memories of how the last one ended flashed in her mind, Olivia could feel herself begin to panic. That was, until she felt a deep moan vibrate into her mouth by the blonde in her arms; her brain came to a complete halt. The brunette reluctantly pulled away from the other woman, feeling a red hot blush creep up her neck and sprawl out across her cheeks.  
“Amanda?” was all she could say in between heavy breathing.  
Her eyes searched those bright blue orbs that were wide and stared back at her, seeing that fight, flee, or freeze response instinctively play out within them. The older woman recognized it immediately, after seeing that same look in far too many situations over the years, and she quickly grabbed Amanda’s hips, preventing her from at least running away.   
The younger detective felt shockwaves coarse through her body at the weight of the hands on her hips. Her mind was going a thousand miles a minute and she was beginning to forget how she had even gotten to this point, with Olivia’s arms now wrapping around her waist, bringing her even closer. Racking her brain, she was begging for one thing that make sense, one thing that told her how she went from a yoga retreat in Costa Rica to making out with her sergeant in the hallway of her apartment building.

Her apartment.  
Olivia.  
Yoga Retreat.

Then it hit her like a ton of bricks. Olivia asked her out to coffee when she got back from her retreat after the Patton fiasco came to light, and she had insisted that she walk Amanda up to her door. It through the blonde off, but she gladly accepted the offer. After getting caught up in the bad business of gambling, nearly losing her shield, and dishonoring the respect of her superior officer, she never thought she had another shot at getting into Olivia’s good graces. She vowed, to not only herself but to Olivia as well, that she would never stop trying and when she remembered she initiated that kiss, she mentally kicked herself. Hard.   
“Shit. Liv, I’m so sor-“ she was cut off before she could utter the word that had grown so used to forming on her tongue, by the same lips she felt moments ago. She felt that tiny flame in her belly engulf her entire insides as her bottom lip became prisoner to the gentle teasing of teeth. Her knees nearly buckled, and that same flame in her belly was starting to move further down to her core. Her sheer desire and want of this insanely gorgeous woman made her hands start to roam and a near growl escape from her vocal cords. She needed this woman, and she needed her now.  
Olivia’s skin was burning from the contact of delicate touches that seemed so foreign to her now. Her own hands had found their way back into the mass of blonde hair, settling at the base of Amanda’s head. This new found proclivity toward the younger detective was not so surprising for her, she knew it was only a matter of time before something woke the beast, and now it was up and on high alert. Remembering that they were still in the hallway of Amanda’s apartment, Olivia grudgingly broke contact.  
“Inside,” she whispered into the blonde’s ear, lightly nipping at the pulse point just below. A grin formed when she saw Amanda visibly shutter and little goose bumps pop up all over her skin.   
They fumbled through the threshold and were interrupted when the weight of an excited and very hungry pit bull almost knocked them both over. Amanda’s face was instantly fifty shades of red when she looked over at Olivia, who was laughing at Frannie’s antics and scratching behind the dog’s ears.   
“Frannie, leave her alone,” the blonde pleaded, grabbing the dog by the collar, only to be stopped with a gentle hand on her arm. Her gaze flickered back up to Olivia’s face, seeing a mixture of slight amusement and warmth in her chestnut eyes. Amanda released her grip on the pink collar, feeling fingers entwining themselves with hers as a nervous smile couldn’t help but form on her lips. She had dreamt of this moment for a long time, too long in fact, that before this moment she almost forgot about the unrequited love she had for her boss. She took this opportunity to capture Olivia’s full lips in her own, allowing all those deeply buried emotions she had locked away so tight to shine through and resurface.  
Olivia felt something change; it changed in the way that Amanda kissed her. It wasn’t hurried and lustful like it was in the hallway, but slow, passionate, and loving. It was no longer a surprise impulse, but a well thought out idea. Olivia assumed the blonde just needed someone for the night, but with the way she was kissing her right now, the brunette knew that whatever this was, could never be for just tonight.

xx—xx

I hope you enjoyed reading this. Please let me know what you thought, constructive criticism is always welcome!


	2. Fear of abandonment

I hope you enjoy this chapter and if you have any suggestions of whether or not you would like this to continue and maybe what you want to see happen. I am open to all suggestions and feedback!  
Thanks for reading!

xx—xx

Olivia and Amanda had been interrupted for a second time by the very over anxious pit bull, and they both made the non verbal agreement to care for the restless animal, and take the night into a different direction than the passion displayed between them had suggested just minutes before. The blonde had instructed that Olivia make herself at home while she went and took Frannie on a brief walk so she could do her business, and ten minutes later she was walking back through the door still reeling from the events that had transpired.  
“Hey,” Amanda said sheepishly as she walked into the living room after giving the dog fresh food and water, seeing Olivia relaxed on her couch with some mindless reality program playing lowly in the background. It was apparent that the brunette’s mind was miles away from the scenes playing out on the television when her eyes snapped to Amanda’s when the words reached her ears. Olivia could sense the younger woman’s hesitation, and that made a tiny smile make its way to her lips. She slowly got up off the sofa, her eyes never leaving Amanda’s as she closed the distance between them, snaking her arms around the blonde’s waist and capturing pale pink lips in her own. It was slow and affectionate, much like the kiss in the kitchen, and Olivia felt Amanda melt into her arms, fingers sliding into her hair. Something exploded in the older woman’s body, making her stomach flip in ways that were completely alien to her, and that dark, delusional part of her brain that kept her from getting too close to anyone came creeping in.   
The part of her mind that protected her from further hurt and pain, while also causing it, was screaming at her to stop this before things got bad, because they always did. Olivia Benson didn’t deserve to be loved, and that was blatantly clear with her many trials and tribulations in the relationship department, or at least that’s what it told her. On her really bad days, she caved into those dark thoughts and really began to believe that feeling safe and secure with someone special just wasn’t in the cards she was dealt. The other part of her brain helped keep her balanced, because she knew deep down they were all lies and she still remained hopeful, at least for the most part. After all, she had told countless survivors that everything would be okay in the end, that their fairy tales and the dreams they dreamt were all still within reaching distance, and she liked to be one to practice what she preached.   
Amanda pulled back when she felt something shift between them. She felt Olivia’s body tense in her arms, and she couldn’t help the concern and worry that began to etch the every curve and line of her face. Her heart was hammering loudly in her chest, and the hands that were once exploring every strand of the brunette’s perfect locks automatically moved to cradle the other woman’s face.  
“Liv?” she questioned softly, wanting to tread lightly, uncertain of the reasons behind the sudden change. This seemed to snap Olivia out of the haze she didn’t even realize had fallen upon her, and she met Amanda’s eyes apologetically.   
“I’m sorry, Amanda,” she whispered, breaking eye contact when she felt the younger woman’s hands move from her face to around her waist, mirroring her own position. She felt a sudden threat of tears that took her by surprise, and she could feel the blonde’s eyes burning into her, making that pre-cry sting in her nose take over. She hadn’t even realized the first tear had fallen onto her cheek until she felt a soft thumb pad wipe it away gently with more tenderness than anyone had ever displayed toward her, and that made the salty droplets increase tenfold. She felt Amanda grab her hand, interlacing their fingers, and she pulled Olivia in the direction of the couch. She tugged the brunette down onto the cushions and pulled her to her side, encircling her shoulders with one arm and placing her hand gently over Olivia’s with the other, drawing soothing circles with her thumb. She didn’t speak, she just held the vulnerable woman until she heard her breathing lose its shakiness and even out. Amanda peered down at Olivia when she sensed the head on her shoulder shift and look up at her, and she felt her heart shatter at how broken and defeated the older woman looked. It intensified the aging lines on her face that she had gained over all these years of being the unbreakable, badass Benson. The woman who was married to the job and thrived on the satisfaction of knowing that the sick, twisted bastards she dealt with on a daily basis lived out the rest of their miserable time on earth without ever seeing the light of day again. Amanda thought she was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen, even now as she saw how utterly exhausted Olivia was and how many demons she could see that she had been hiding.  
“You okay?” the blonde faintly breathed, as she tucked a stray strand of chestnut hair behind Olivia’s ear, letting her thumb lazily trail lightly down the other woman’s jaw line.   
Amanda felt such love and care for this woman, and had for some time now. She adored her, and she had tried to show that adoration the minute she walked into that squad room for the very first time, with little avail. She heard all the rumors that flew around about Manhattan’s Special Victims Unit and their star duo Detectives Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler, but it wasn’t until much later she understood why Olivia was so cold to her friendly advances. That was her best friend and partner for twelve years and he left her without so much as a goodbye, and it was the instant when Olivia found her fidgeting hands to be the most interesting thing, that Amanda realized the fear of abandonment is what had the brunette so defenseless. Slowly lifting her chin to once again meet gazes, Amanda saw more fear and terror in those chocolate eyes than she had ever seen before, or ever thought she would see.  
“Hey,” she whispered, gently, once again taking the tanned hands in her own, moving her thumbs in a soft, reassuring pattern. “I’m not going anywhere, okay?”  
Olivia felt her heart start racing with uneasiness; nobody had ever been able to read her thoughts with just one look. It startled her on how easy it was for Amanda to infiltrate the steel walls she had around her heart, and how with one shred of vulnerability, the blonde was able to read the deepest fears Olivia kept buried down in the bottom of her soul. She prided herself on how locked down her emotions had become; it had taken a lot of work over the course of her life, with sixteen years of seeing the most horrific of crimes under her belt. And now, in the smallest amount of time, this woman had come and slid her way into her life, breaking through all the work Olivia had done to maintain her badass label. She felt the prick of tears once again, but when she looked into those baby blue orbs, she felt a sudden rush of security and trust that she had never experienced before, and something deep down in her gut told her to believe the younger woman. She had learned many years ago to follow that gut feeling; it always led her to the right answers. As the saline beads involuntarily rolled off her eyelids, she lit up with the most radiant, genuine smile she had felt line her face in quite some time, and simultaneously grabbed the other woman’s face, pressing their lips together.  
“Thank you,” she muttered, in between compassionate kisses.  
Amanda pulled Olivia away just enough to capture her eyes. They were filled with so much hesitant hope that the blonde could feel her insides start to flutter.  
“You don’t need to thank me, Liv,” she replied. She pressed her mouth to Olivia’s forehead, letting the other woman rest her head there for a few brief seconds as they both took in the moment they were sharing. They broke apart, only to blend forms again more comfortably on the couch seconds later. Olivia immediately clung to Amanda’s side, with her arm possessively around her torso and her head draped over her shoulder. The blonde was unconsciously drawing circles on the older woman’s back like it was the most normal thing in the world, and that was the moment they both realized that this was the thing they had both been waiting for.

xx—xx  
Thanks again for the read! Hope you enjoyed it, and remember reviews are love!


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